Doing versus Being

The idea that “bad behavior will always be something I did, but it will never be who I am” draws a powerful distinction between actions and identity.

Separating Actions from Identity for example; Actions vs. Essence:

This perspective recognizes that everyone makes mistakes or acts in ways they later regret. However, a single action (or even a pattern of actions) doesn’t fully define a person’s character or worth. One must be careful not to allow public opinion and/or self deprecation to anchor one to the negative thoughts that may stem from the actions.

Using a Growth Mindset may be helpful. That is, by viewing bad behavior as something you did—not who you are—you open the door to learning, growth, and change. It’s a mindset that encourages personal development rather than shame or self-condemnation.

Accountability and Compassion are essential tools as well. For example; taking responsibility: Acknowledging “it will always be something I did” means owning up to your actions and their consequences. This is crucial for genuine growth and for repairing relationships.